I am definitely a cocktail fork. A proper cocktail has several essential benefits. It contains many of the critical food groups: grain, fruit, water (is that a food group? It's a good thing, I know that). And I am a very health-conscious person. Cocktails are very social - throw a few into the mix and you've got a lively party. I love a good party. They can turn an introvert into a crazy dancer (hello??!!!). Plus a cocktail makes you feel good. I subscribe to: if it feels good, do it. I'm not sure why a cocktail needs a fork, except to pick out and discard a nasty olive. But I'm proud that its function is associated with such a noble and socially-important purpose.